Modeling—Is not Just for the Fashion Industry?

Today, I am going to highlight one of my pet peeves.  I am distressed when leaders say that certain behaviors must stop but they do not stop exhibiting the same behavior.  Whenever a coaching client tells me that they gave a team member strong feedback to eliminate the behavior, I often ask “Have you done the same?”  How have you modeled the elimination of that behavior?  You see as leaders, you model behavior for others to follow.

This insight hit my hard several years ago.  I was in a coaching session.  A client shared a story about how a colleague wronged them.  When I inquired when the incident happened, he told me a year ago.  Thats when I told him that the statute of limitations of holding onto that anger was over.  It was time to forgive that person.  After I said that, a feeling came over me.  I had realized that I had an outstanding issue that I was holding on for years.  As a coach, I was NOT modeling forgiveness.  How can I coach people on forgiveness when I was not forgiving people who have wrong ed me.  After this session, I decided that I would call this person who wronged me, meet with them and tell them that I forgive them. 

We see this lack of modeling today in our political leaders.  One day, they speak on toning down rhetoric and then two days later, they ratchet it up again.  A TOTAL lack of modeling behavior.  Our leaders are showing our youth that you can say one thing and do another.  For leaders, this is the road to credibility being lost as a leader.  This negatively impacts your leadership brand.  So, I leave you with this thought—are their any behaviors that you are not modeling?  And what can you do to resolve this issue?  It is all about “walking the talk and talking your walk”.